Who is Joe Blessing? I’m the guy that women pray to God to send them. I’m the guy that matches the list they furiously write out after watching an Oprah episode. I’m the guy women wistfully ask for after a night full of wine, beer, and shots on a girl’s night out. I’m the one that matches the list they make after multiple counseling sessions. I’m the Blessing they quietly entreat the Universe for after reading The Secret.
I may be tall or short. I may be fat, thin, or built like a male fitness model. I am not perfect, but I represent the guy that is perfect for each woman. The guy that matches most, if not all, the traits she is looking for on her list.
You know every woman has one, written down or not, she has it. Most have the expected things on it: honesty, faithfulness, devotion, and good sex, to name a few. But other traits are unique to each woman, and represent the ideal Blessing they are looking to swoop in on their lives.
I am that guy.
I’m the guy that sits alone in the dark, desperately trying to hold back the unmanly tears that threaten to blast through my eyes like a river bursting through a dam. I’m the man that God, the Universe, call it what you will, sent you, and you threw away. I wonder why? Did you not ask for me? When you were hurt and wailing to the sky above in your apartment for someone to love you right, after being misused by someone else? I’m here now, why are you throwing me away.
It happens all the time. You get what you’re looking for, you find the man you want. And then you look to the horizon to see if there is something better down the road. You leave, you want space, you need to think, and you say there is something missing. You never realize until it is too late, that what was missing was a commitment to the gift the Universe sent you. There are many good men, but not all are great for you. Only a few will be in your lifetime, and all too often you toss them away like a child throwing a doll away.
Why do you do this? Do you even have a clue of the devastation you leave behind? Men have hearts too, and they can be broken. Do you not see? Do you not care, about me, Joe Blessing, God’s blessing to you?
I am he, and this blog is my story after you leave me behind.
Hey man,
I can definitely relate to a tough breakup, its in part the process that helped me create my current blog. One thing that really helped me release the stuck emotions was a simple acupressure technique called Tat. You can read more about it here: http://www.yangtown.com/inner-game/how-to-let-go-of-an-emotional-trauma/
Do that once a day for a few days and your life can literally transform.
Blessings,
Ryan
I love your site. Keep it up !
This is tres deep. Kind of hard to lift yourself up from here, and this is yet another reason why I know you are healing. To come from this all the way to where you are, is a sign of great strides being made.
Everything on this site…every entry, every letter, including this one…down to some of the smallest details is EXACTLY where I’m at in my life right now regarding my ex.
EVERYTHING fits my situation like a jigsaw puzzle.
You are not alone in this devastation you feel. I think we’ve all been there.
Everything happens for a reason. You will see that in time. Your wound is fresh, 8 months means you have not passed all the “anniversaries” of “this time last year, we were doing (fill in the blank)”. Give yourself a year. And cry when you need to. It’s okay. You’re hurting. So hurt.
But please don’t do what I did, thinking “that was the one, and there is no other” and stay stuck for years….I look back now and see what a waste of time it was. And guess what? I was wrong; he wasn’t “the one”.
I don’t know how old you are, but you’re never too old to love again. Time heals all…. I didn’t believe it either, so it’s okay if you don’t (yet). :o)
I find your blog extremely insightful. I’m right there with you in the breakup. Its an unfortunate part of life, especially when you feel like things were going fine until this. I think Leah says it best even though I know I’m not even taking her advice right now. I thought that I had found the one and I was wrong and the last two weeks I’ve been desperately trying to hold onto something that is not there. Don’t let her jerk you around like my ex is trying to do with me. There is another woman out there for you and you will find her when you least expect it.
My heart is connected to your heart in the pain that we both are feeling! I wrote the list- told him he was the list. He then tells me that God showed him the woman he was to marry and I was not her! He is getting Married in FEB! Im so sorry that this is a part of life- PAIN!!!
I’m right where you are now. My ex just dumped me for Michelle. It really hurts.
Hi, I’ve been emailing questions, and appreciate if you would respond to my email.
I’d like to see what other people are asking as well.
Is this a good place to post, or is there a forum somewhere else?
Thanks
It sounds like you’re creating problems yourself by trying to solve this issue instead of looking at why
their is a problem in the first place
I dont get your meaning? Explain please?
It sounds like you’re creating problems yourself by trying to solve this issue instead of looking at why their is a problem in the first place
I allowed myself to fall in love with what I believed was/is a wonderful man in about four months time. We are both older, and he even assured me that we knew what we were doing. Of course, he’s only separated after a long, unfulfilling 28 year marriage and has lots on his plate right now. But to sit me down and tell me right before the holidays that he wants to be “friends,” when I love this man, has left me physically ill and depressed. I actually told him I love him. It’s been only two weeks but he has basically “disappeared.” And he continues to go on a dating website so yes, he’s looking. You think your God’s answer to women and what they want, well, I think of myself as being special, caring, intelligent, quick witted, athletic, in great shape, great cook – all the things a man would want. I keep telling myself that he is confused, he’s still married, give him time, give him space BUT how does he walk away from the wonderful time we had together? It works like nothing ever has. I am a basket case but I think everyday gets better. In my heart, I think he did care for me deeply but got scared. That does not excuse his “disappearing” act. That hurts so very much. Someone told me the only fix is to find a new man who cares about you. Well, easier said than done. I’ve had guys disappear on me before but this one is the worse yet. I hope you are progressing in your recovery.
We are in the same boat, and so I empathize with your dilemma. Rocky, I do want to say though that I dont think I’m god’s gift to women. That was not the intention of the “Who is Joe Blessing” essay I guess you can call it. I came up with the name as a way to describe that guy that men say they are looking for. It’s about all those men, and how we get left or dont even get dated.
I DO think I was God’s gift to my ex. Not because I’m perfect, but because of what I brought to her life, the love I had for her and her family, the support I gave her in her dreams and when she was down. I treated her the way every father wants their daughter treated, and the way every mother wants to be treated. I was a blessing in her life. And I thought we were a blessing to each other. But now I’m living a nightmare. And she’s turned into the worse thing that has ever happened to me. And that is such a sad thought considering how we were together for seven yrs. its so hard, because all anyone here has is my word and my story. All I can say, even people who know her, love her, and are friends or family to her, wonder what the hell?
Very interesting article. I will visit this blog more often for articles like this.
My husband and I were so surprised to find this blog. You see — he is my “Joe Blessing”.
His first marriage had ended and he searched for years to find the one who would appreciate, love and cherish him for the rest of his life. I am that person. My previous marriage ended when my husband passed away. I was a lost soul searching for a new life. I was sad and lonely and praying for my “Joe Blessing”.
We were brought together when his college-aged daughter signed him up for a dating service and I took the scary steps of signing myself up. In preparation for my interview with the dating counselor, I was asked to jot down some qualities and interests that I would like in a partner. Based on what I had listed, they matched me and arranged my first and only date. You see, I met my “Joe Blessing” on that date. We shared so many common interests and there was an instant connection. It was hard to say goodbye after that first date and we both knew that there would be many more.
That was seven years ago.
One day, not long ago, I came across a sheet of paper with a list. At first I thought it was my notes for the meeting with the dating adviser but I realized that this was the list I had made describing my perfect “Joe Blessing”. It made me cry to think that I had really met and married him. What’s so interesting, though, is that his name really is Joe Blessing!!!
I’m glad that you found someone else to share your life. And even happier that you recognized it, I wish my love had done the same.
This could be written by my last ex, I know he was wildly hurt when I ended things. I hope he can heal and recover and I hope the same for you too..
Who is Joe Blessing The Break-up Diaries I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble. You are wonderful! Thanks! your article about Who is Joe Blessing The Break-up DiariesBest Regards Cindy